Relationships and Community: Connection is Medicine

This post is the third in my series on the Four Primary Medicines: Food, Lifestyle, Relationships and Community, and Purpose. These are the essential keys to health and healing that don’t come from a pharmacy or a doctor’s prescription—they come from within us and around us. In the first two posts, we explored Food as Medicine and Lifestyle as Medicine. Now, let’s turn to the third: Relationships and Community.

🌿Connection as Medicine

When we think of medicine, we tend to think of pills, surgeries, or trips to the doctor’s office. But one of the most powerful forms of healing comes not from a prescription bottle, but from the people in our lives. Relationships and community are essential to our health and wellbeing—in fact, they are real medicine.

“The most potent healing factor wasn’t the diet, the exercise, or even the meditation. It was the human connection.”

Dr. Dean Ornish, a cardiologist and researcher, has spent decades proving this truth. In his pioneering studies beginning in the 1980s, he showed that people with serious heart disease could actually reverse blocked arteries without surgery or drugs. His patients changed what they ate, meditated, practiced yoga, exercised moderately, and—most importantly—shared their feelings openly in supportive groups.

Surprisingly, the most potent healing factor wasn’t the diet, the exercise, or even the meditation. It was the human connection. The group sharing turned out to be the most powerful medicine of all.

Ornish’s later research confirmed this in other conditions as well, showing similar results in men with prostate cancer and in people with early stage dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. His work underscores something profound: the way we connect with others has direct effects on our biology. Human connection is a form of medicine in its own right.

🧬 The Science of Connection

“Heart disease is an emotional and spiritual disease.” — Dr. Dean Ornish

In his book Love and Survival: The Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy, Ornish makes the case that love, intimacy, and community can heal us, while loneliness, isolation, and lack of connection can harm us. He even describes heart disease as an “emotional and spiritual disease.” Coming from a physician trained in the tools of surgery and medication, that is a powerful statement.

Science backs this up. Loneliness, isolation, and depression are now well-recognized risk factors for disease. People who lack connection often have higher levels of inflammation, are more likely to get sick, and even die earlier. On the other hand, intimacy, community, and even the companionship of a pet have been shown to help us heal and thrive.

So how do we bring more of this medicine into our lives? It doesn’t always require big changes. Sometimes it’s as simple as calling a friend, joining a group, reaching out to a neighbor, or letting ourselves be more open in our conversations. Even small acts of connection can nourish us in profound ways.

🧘 Practices for Connection

To explore the role of relationships and community in your life — and for support when connections feel difficult, here are two simple practices you might try:

💬 Reflection: A Meditation on Relationships

Take a few moments to pause and reflect on your own connections:

• Find a quiet space where you feel safe and at ease. Sit or lie down comfortably.
• Close your eyes and take some gentle belly breaths.
• Reflect on your relationships and your community. Which ones nurture and support you? Which ones might feel draining?
• Simply notice what arises. Allow any feelings to be part of your reflection.
• When you are ready, gently cover your eyes with your palms and breathe deeply before opening them.

🪞Practice: Mirror Work for Difficult Conversations

Relationships can be healing, but they can also be sources of stress. If you’re struggling in a relationship—whether with a loved one, a friend, coworker, neighbor, even an acquaintance—this mirror work practice may help:

• Find a private, quiet place and sit comfortably.
• Hold a handheld mirror in both hands (or in your nondominant hand).
• Look directly into your own eyes.
• Bring to mind the person you’re struggling with.
• Speak aloud to the mirror, expressing your feelings about the relationship. Don’t hold back—allow anger, sadness, or awkwardness to arise without judgment. Say whatever comes up, even if it feels uncomfortable.
• Next, imagine you’re speaking directly to the person. Tell them exactly how you feel, as honestly as possible.
• When you’re finished, set the mirror down, close your eyes, and take a few deep belly breaths.

This exercise can help you own your truth, ease emotional tension, and release the stress relationships sometimes carry.

❤️ The Medicine of Connection

Connection truly is medicine. The love we share, the circles we gather in, the communities we cultivate—they are not “extras.” They are essential to healing, to wellbeing, and to living fully.

🌱 About the Four Primary Medicines

The Four Primary Medicines: Food, Lifestyle, Relationships and Community, and Purpose—these are our inner medicines, and the medicines that our ancestors turned to long before modern medicine. They are simple, always available, and profoundly powerful.

In fact, science is showing that these inner medicines can be more potent than modern medical treatments—protecting us from illness, helping us heal, and keeping us well in ways that no pill or procedure ever could.

In the next post in this series, we’ll explore the fourth and final Primary Medicine: Purpose.